True friend

A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work.

His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in.  "My hair & makeup are not done, the house is mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! What the hell did you bring him home for?"

"Because he's thinking of getting married."

Kids these days ...

2 boys aged 6 and 9 were talking to me in the park. 9 year, pointing at 6 year old told to me "Uncle, he talks bad words". I ignored the his comments. After a while, the 6 year old starts singing "Tsamina mina eh eh Waka Waka eh eh" The 9 year old quickly points to me and says, "see he is saying bad words - Tsamina mina eh eh F&*Ker F&*&ker eh eh". I was stunned - how does a 9 year old know the "F" word. The 6 year old quickly retorted and said " I didn't say F*&Ker, I said waka waka". I almost fainted

Girl power

Heard from a bunch of folks at office while heading towards stairs to go down.

First Guy: Lets take stairs, we just have to go one floor down

Girl: Nooo, we have to go 2 floors (won't it be difficult, you moron)
Another guy: Ok then, lets take the elevator
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And the whole gang followed .... :-)

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